Conversations With Small Dogs: A New Hobby

Buddy: [drags the comforter off of my bed and into the living room] Look! I found a totally cool thing! Can I keep it?

Me: No! Here, why don’t you chew on this toy while I put that back.
Ten minutes later…
Buddy: [grabs my bathrobe and drags it into the living room] Look! I found this awesome thing! Can I keep it?
Me: No. No you may not. Here, why don’t you and the other guys go outside for a bit while I put that away?
Ten minutes later…
Buddy: [drags my left winter boot onto the couch and is very pleased with himself] Check this out! I totally found it in the hallway. I can keep it, right?
Me: Goddamn it, Buddy! Give me my shoe and take a nap or something!
[repeat scene ad inf?! ad naus.]

About L. M. Bernhardt

For a good long while (15 years or so), I taught philosophy at a little private university in northwest IA, and occasionally branched out into playing music, dabbling in photography, experimenting with food, and writing nonsense on my blog. The philosophy teaching part ended in 2017 (program elimination via prioritization), but never fear! I've just finished my MLIS at San Jose State University, and I'm currently on the market looking for new adventures in either philosophy or LIS. For now, I labor at a fairly interesting administrative job in order to support my dogs in the lavish manner to which they've become accustomed.
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2 Responses to Conversations With Small Dogs: A New Hobby

  1. At least Buddy isn't SHREDDING his treasures. :)


  2. Only because I've stopped him these last few times. His first crate blanket is in ribbons, and he destroyed one of my bedsheets before I could stop him. I think I'm going to invest in an antler chew company, because those things seem to be the only consistent attention-holders I can give him to buy myself more than a few minutes of peace at a time!


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