Buddy: Hey! Human! Human! Human!
Buddy: You have to check this out. I have done something totally awesome.
Me: (sotto voce) Oh, shit.
Buddy: Did you say something?
Me: No, no, do go on. What did you do?
Buddy: I have fixed your bed!
Me: Damn it, Buddy! I thought we talked about that! You have to pee outs-
Buddy: No, no — not that (although I do still think it would really help the room if you’d let me mark things more clearly). It is SO much cooler than that! Can you guess what I did? Huh? Can you?
Me: I shudder to think…
Buddy: Come on, Food Lady! Guess! Guess! It is so awesome!
Me: You removed the pillowcase from my pillow again, didn’t you.
Buddy: Huh. Good guess.