Conversations With Small Dogs: Pre-Holiday Edition


Me: Buddy, we need to talk.

Buddy: Oh, did you find that cool thing I stashed in the yard a few minutes ago? Wow!

Me: Look, Bud, I know chewers gotta chew, and I have no one to blame but myself for leaving my favorite fingerless gloves where you could find them. I can live with that. I’m just curious about something.

Buddy: Do you want to know what different yarns taste like? I’ve been working on a study.

Me: No, thank you. Wait — you’re what?

Buddy: Yeah, it’s the coolest! I sample different yarn-chewies, rate them for taste and texture, that sort of thing. I’m really making pretty good progress!

Me: *sigh* Great. Just great. No, Buddy, what I was wondering is this: Why the left?

Buddy: *head tilt*

Me: Every shoe or glove you’ve ever destroyed has always been the left shoe or glove of the pair. The right shoe/glove is never touched. What’s up with that? Why the left?

Buddy: Oh, I don’t know. They just seem…

Me: Tastier? Easier to chew?

Buddy: Sinister.


About L. M. Bernhardt

For a good long while (15 years or so), I taught philosophy at a little private university in northwest IA, and occasionally branched out into playing music, dabbling in photography, experimenting with food, and writing nonsense on my blog. The philosophy teaching part ended in 2017 (program elimination via prioritization), but never fear! I've just finished my MLIS at San Jose State University, and I'm currently on the market looking for new adventures in either philosophy or LIS. For now, I labor at a fairly interesting administrative job in order to support my dogs in the lavish manner to which they've become accustomed.
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