Top Five Awesome Things About My Recent Surgery
5. The anesthesiologist actually laughed at my Walking Dead jokes.
4. In fact, pretty much everyone I met at the hospital enjoyed my act. Thanks! Y’all were a great audience!
3. You know that bit where they roll you into surgery, start the engines on your anesthesia, and tell you to count backwards? Yeah. I don’t remember any of that. Clearly, in addition to having a terrific sense of humor, my anesthesiologist is brilliant.
2. Hospital swag! Seriously — they sent me home with a tub full of cool stuff, including this charming contraption:
Who knew there’d be prizes? Nobody told me about the prizes! Why didn’t anyone tell me about that?
1. It is now actually impossible for me to be hysterical (assuming one takes the origins of the word seriously) except in the comedic sense. Take that, sexist schmucks!