Conversations With Small Dogs About Sin and Repentance

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This is the look of a repentant dog. It is also the look of a no-account canine liar who regrets nothing.

Me: Buddy, we need to talk about some of your recent behavior.

Buddy: Pretty cool stuff, right? Right?!?!

Me: Um…I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing. What do you think you did that was cool?

Buddy: Well, let’s see — yesterday, I did that amazing trick with the butter sticks, and this morning I pre-soaked those paper towels for you. Awesomeness is me! Do you happen to have a cookie handy?

Me: [sputtering for a few moments in disbelief] The “trick” with the butter sticks involved you stealing a whole box from the grocery bags, hustling out to the back yard, and eating as much of it as you could before anyone noticed!

Buddy: I know, right? AMAZING!

Me: [sighing heavily]: No! No, “amazing” was not the word I was looking for. And that’s nothing compared to the “pre-soaking” bit. Why on earth did you just walk over and pee on the new package of paper towels?

Buddy: I thought I’d save you some time.

 

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The true face of Buddy, Canine Menace To All That Is Good and Decent In The World

 

 

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About L. M. Bernhardt

Deaccessioned philosopher. Occasional Musician. Academic librarian, in original dust jacket. Working to keep my dogs in the lavish manner to which they have become accustomed.
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