Category Archives: Habitrail Critic

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown…

…especially when said head belongs to a lonely gorilla the size of a building who can’t seem to catch a break. [There will be some spoilers for Kong: Skull Island (2017) here. If you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want … Continue reading

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Hey! Look! Some Fannish Nattering About Star Wars!

Note: There will be no spoilers here for the new film. I haven’t seen it yet. I will see it. I will not be stopped. When the original Star Wars came out in 1977, I was utterly fascinated — it pretty much … Continue reading

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In Which The Habitrail Critic Calls For An Assist From Bob Vila

One of the most important things that Guillermo del Toro does right in Crimson Peak is make the house a character. In a gorgeously shot movie that otherwise breaks no original ground in terms of plot or character, this is a crucial choice for … Continue reading

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In Which The Habitrail Critic Is The Monday Morning Quarterback Ridley Scott Never Knew He Needed

Here’s the thing about The Martian (which I saw this past weekend): Matt Damon is not the problem. I wouldn’t say this film has 99 problems, but whatever number it does have (and it definitely has a nonzero number of problems), … Continue reading

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The Habitrail Critic Hits The Road (Warrior)

OMG OMFG OMMFG Seriously, that’s about all I’ve got where Mad Max: Fury Road is concerned. If I hadn’t been reduced to gibbering incoherence by 2 hours of unrelenting awesomeness, I would probably note, first, that this thing lives up to … Continue reading

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The Habitrail Critic Ascending

First, a slightly delayed bit of Bad Poem Saturday Sunday in the form of a spoiler-free Haiku Review of Jupiter Ascending: Once more, spectacle has won a grand victory over narrative Huzzah! Now for the spoiler-ish ravings and a bout of … Continue reading

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The Habitrail Critic Knows That If We Burn, You Burn With Us

Short version: Mockingjay (Part 1) is an emotionally exhausting film that vindicates my (apparently unpopular) preference for the book from which it was adapted. Long version, with spoilers, follows the cut.

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